t minus 27

now that we have entered january ’08, the countdown to the boys’ numero uno is on! i have to admit, my mind has been focused on more practical matters of this milestone. should we go ahead and install the forward-facing car seats? the boys are over 20 pounds, so what’s a few weeks? should i start giving them a spoon with their meals? they do great with finger foods, but the thought of them wielding spoons with oatmeal, yogurt, etc. is just too much! and while these are, for the most part, practical considerations, my ambivalence about them may illuminate something bigger. am i really okay with all of this? am i afraid to let go? where did my babies go?!

there are lots of things, big things, that come with the “big one.” walking, words, one-less-nap, more independence, tantrums (which oz is already starting to display when being put in anything that straps him down, i.e. stroller, highchair, etc.). more succinctly put…toddler-dom. and i think that i am thrilled about this evolution. see, i’m the type of person that LOVES change. the more you stir it up, the better. i also look at the kiddos running around the playground, calling to their parents to come watch them, or pretend ordering ice cream cones through the cut-out window of the jungle gym, and i just can’t wait until that is abie and ozzy. it just looks SO MUCH FUN!

so why am i finding it so hard to just go ahead and install the stupid forward facing car seats? for cripes sake, the poor kids have been looking at a boring grey seat back for the past 11 months! maybe i just need these last four more weeks of thinking that my boys are still my little babies; that my arms are the best place in the world to them; that…that…aw heck, what am i saying? i’m going to install these car seats right now. these boys will always be my little babies, no matter how old they get!

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