Tomorrow is a big day for the Silverman family. Abel and Ozzy start school! I wrote about my mixed feelings on HDYDI last week, how I felt emotionally unprepared for this transition. Now that the day has arrived, I feel so much better. The boys seem to be genuinely excited about all of this, which helps. Although when the time comes to say goodbye tomorrow, I’m sure we’ll all be a mess.
It will be a short day and the guys will probably only stay for an hour or two, depending on how they’re doing. The school likes to use the fist week as a transition, where every day they gradually increase the time the kids stay there. By next week, my hopes are for the boys to be taking their afternoon nap at school. I think that will be the strangest thing for me – not feeding the boys lunch and putting them down for their nap.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how things will be different. We’ve spent the past year where we’ve had nothing but time. Time to eat long breakfasts of waffles and sausage (the boys are like dogs and eat the same breakfast every day!); time to create elaborate train courses before our morning walk around the neighborhood; time to pet all the cats on our route (pearl, sadie, gus and pumpkin head); time for the boys to run up and down our neighbor’s hill a million times; time to just hang out at the park; time for meeting jordan for lunch after an awesome late morning at the children’s museum. These are the things that make me sad, that make my heart ache, when I think about what I will truly miss.
I have had the time to be a patient parent (or as patient as I could be). To allow them the two minutes they need to process putting the toy down before going outside. To allow them as much time as they need to cry on my shoulder after a wipe out. To allow them each to fall asleep in my arms before I lay them in their cribs for their nap. I will still be a patient parent, but I have some fear about what taking six hours out of our day together will mean. I know we will all adjust and be better people for it. We will all get so much out of this transition. But when I cut it to the core, I can’t help but feel that I’m losing one of the most precious things I have with these boys – time.
So I’m dedicated to do as much with this time that I’ve lost with my boys but gained for myself. I don’t want to waste or squander any of it. Not that I don’t want to use some to relax and rejuvenate myself – as any twin parent knows – I deserve my fair share. But I am committed to doing as much during this time so that I can be as present and patient with Abie and Oz as possible.
We’ve had a great last week together as things have always been. Jordan spent much of it with us and we all played and laughed and relaxed in the 70 plus degree sunshine that is winter in Austin. We all took a great afternoon trip to Pedernales Falls on Saturday, a trip we made almost a year ago with the boys, just as they were starting to walk. It was amazing to witness how much things have changed. The boys walked down and up the steep rock stairs by themselves (definitely telling us “no!” if we so much as touched them!). They ran around the sand and rocks and obsessively threw stones into the streams and ponds, because I’m convinced this stuff is encoded into their little boy DNA. They tried to scale rock walls. They searched for shells in the sand. They refused to have their picture taken with their parents in any formal way. Crazy what a year makes.
They are my little boys. On the brink of turning two. Starting school tomorrow. I am so very, very proud.
Abel is PSYCHED!
The boys quickly turned away all attempts at helping them down the stairs.
Ozzy’s throwing technique – it’s all in the follow through and the mouth!
Abie’s got some b-ball style to his throw.
Our pathetic attempts at a family picture. We were clearly torturing them.
I think we have some rock climbers on our hands. Good thing we live at the trail head to some quality limestone.
J and I took the boys’ non-compliance to take a picture just the two of us. These are almost as rare as the family pictures!